Power
and Authority
By Rev. Lynn M. Acquafondata
UU Church of the South Hills “Sunnyhill”
October 7, 2007
There’s a Unitarian Universalist joke I found funny the first 50 times I heard it. At this point I’m really getting tired of it. It says that leading Unitarian Universalists is like herding a group of cats. It’s often shared, not just as a joke, but as a kind of badge of pride. We are individuals. We value our own opinions. Unspoken words behind the joke rub my fur the wrong way so to speak. They say “we do not need each other”, and we certainly don’t need leaders.
That’s why I like Marilyn Sewell’s image better. Unitarian Universalists tend to be more comfortable as soloists, she says. But being part of a religious community or any community for that matter calls on us to function as gifted musicians playing together in an orchestra.
There are leadership roles in orchestras. The concert master, the section leaders, the first chairs and the second chairs. And of course the conductor, a position holding power and prestige, sometimes an enormous amount.
Without all those layers of power dynamics, the interaction and interrelationship of musicians playing their different roles, no one would come to listen to an orchestra.
And what of our UU churches? What does the structure of a well functioning church look like? What does it produce?
Marilyn Sewell
has led UU churches for 21 years including 14 years in the large
Sewell says that our celebration of free choice and the respect for the value of each individual and their personal views bring with it the shadow side of fear and distrust of authority. I’m going to focus on our religious movement in this sermon, but what I say today goes far beyond that, because fear and distrust of authority is not just a UU phenomenon. While discomfort with authority is definitely not universal throughout history and cultures, it is clearly entrenched in our American society today reaching from the way we view and treat our political leaders, to the way to we interact with our doctors, to the predominant style of parenting in this country. There are positive aspects of this distrust as well as some clear hindrances to a well functioning society.
This close connection between our secular world and the values and patterns of our UU movement is not new. This country was founded on UU values (though we don’t get credit for it). In Unitarian Universalism the sacred and the secular are closely intertwined. We do not live at odds with our society as many religions choose to do. We try to bring out the sacred, the holy, the best of what the human world can offer within the messiness of daily life in our complex corporate/industrial world. It’s a huge challenge to operate in the midst of the real world, affirming and building upon the positives while critiquing and seeking to improve the destructive aspects of our own lives and the culture we live in. No wonder we are a small religion.
Unitarian Universalism is an organized religion full of people who are ambivalent about the value of organized religion. We come together because we know we can benefit personally by joining with people who share our values and encourage us to grow and support us and our families in the joys and struggles of our lives. We get involved because we know that we can have a far greater impact by taking stands and advocating together for changes to benefit the health of our world as a whole. And yet we don’t want to check our freedom at the door of organization. We UUs operate in a constant tension between independence and individual vision, and interdependence, common vision and community.
Congregational reflection during services exemplifies the uniqueness of Unitarian Universalism at its best and worst. Many of us including myself came to Unitarian Universalism in part because of congregational reflection time, sometimes referred to as “talk back”. I’ve never seen another religious tradition set aside time on a regular basis during services to invite congregants to share their thoughts, reflections, praise and criticism after the minister finishes his or her sermon. Of course no church can have everyone present speak in the confines of an hour long service, but anyone can raise their hand and participate: member, friend, visitor. This symbolizes that every person is valuable and has wisdom to share. It symbolizes that the minister presents his or her views, not as the ultimate truth, but as a starting point for your own reflections.
Sunnyhill does congregational reflection time extremely well as any visitors will soon see. People generally have insightful wisdom to share and do it without dominating, going off track or being derogatory. At other UU congregations I’ve witnessed and experienced antagonistic talk back times in which the message comes across as exerting personal freedom while cutting down authority. For that reason, I had grown weary of ‘talk back’ by the time I came here. Four years later, I happily include it in the services on a regular basis. Some UU congregations have gotten rid of this sharing because of the potential for misuse and many have let it go simply due to size constraints. At a certain point it becomes impossible to do any more than a purely symbolic sharing by a few individuals.
Another one of the beauties and challenges of Unitarian Universalism is that members step in an take on many of the specific tasks of ministry that are left solely to the ordained professional in other traditions. Once a month lay people prepare and present Sunday services. I’ve experienced more outstanding lay led services here at Sunnyhill than at any other congregation. We have excellent lay pastoral care givers, chalice circle facilitators, adult religious education teachers, discussion leaders and congregational leaders.
Sometimes this leads to the view that the minister is equivalent to any other member and if pressed any one of you could step in and fill my shoes. Though each one of these tasks are aspects of ministry, but they are not the whole picture.
I know I’ve made the mistake sometimes of looking at a conductor in front of an orchestra and thinking “Boy, that looks easy. All you have to do is get up front and wave your arms in rhythm and beautiful music emerges.” I’m sure I’d have a rude surprise if I ever tried it. I have actually have tried ice dancing. Watching competitive ice dancers I can feel myself doing the moves gracefully, artistically, effortlessly. And yet when I get on skates on the ice, I can’t even move backwards without great effort. So much for that.
Equal worth and dignity doesn’t mean we have the same gifts, talents, experience and role. Yes, many of you do step in and take on specific tasks of ministry and do it admirably. This is essential to this church and to Unitarian Universalism as a whole, but most people could not be an ordained minister, and even those of you who have potential would not be ready to take on the work I do without extensive training.
In some ways this extends to other leadership roles in the congregation as well. Even when multiple people are capable of playing the same role and have served in that position in the past for example board president, still the current board president can only function effectively if others defer to his/her leadership, give him/her the benefit of the doubt, support his/her decision making processes.
Last week Sue Richmond spoke about importance of covenant in religious communities. She said we must have something stronger and deeper than an agreement or a contract to “connect us together in relationship”. Marilyn Sewell speaks of the relationship between minister and congregation as a covenantal relationship based on trust in which power is shared and enhanced. She wrote, “When the laity do not covenant together to support one another and the minister, the church strains under the stress of power struggles and ends up neglecting its mission.”
First and foremost covenant involves trust on all sides of the equation, between members of the congregation between members and lay leaders, between members and the minister.
Well
functioning churches depend on this mutual trust. It begins with a trust that the person you have chosen as a
minister has the best interest of the congregation and Unitarian Universalism
as a whole in mind in every decision that person makes. It continues in trust that
the person has been well educated in the work of ministry and stays abreast of
the latest developments in church leadership. It moves to trust that that
person maintains an active and healthy private spiritual life and personal life.
In involves an understanding that ministry is not like being a CEO or a college
professor or a psychologist or a politician or a motivational speaker, even though
ministry overlaps with all those occupations in certain ways. It involves trust
that disagreements don’t mean incompetence.
Trust goes both ways. Four years ago you called me to serve as the minister of Sunnyhill. At the installation ceremony we exchanged words of covenant which exemplify the best of what is possible between a UU minister and a congregation. The act of installation had two parts. First the president of the congregation at that time (Dan Nery), the chair of the search committee (Catherine Palmer) and a religious education student (Eric Rauterkus) stated what congregants bring to the relationship with the minister and asked for my commitments.
They said, “We come to you with our hopes and visions. Will you lead us in building a welcoming religious community, tolerant and appreciative of our differences, loving and compassionate of heart, courageous and independent in spirit?”
“We come to you with our joys and our pain. Will you listen to us, walk with us, challenge us and dare us to grow?”
“We come to you in confusion and conflict. Will you guide us and stand with us, reason with us, and reflect with us as we strive to walk in the spirit and the ways of truth?”
“We come to you troubled by others’ needs. Will you keep us in touch with their pain and their worth, and renew us to keep us on the way?”
“We come here growing, learning and changing. We live in the present but bring the future. Will you teach us, listen to us, care for us, play with us? Will you challenge us to stretch and grow?”
“We come here seeking nourishment for our spirits. Will you point out beauty, show us the sacred, and teach us to sing?”
“Will you join with us in the joy and work of a shared ministry?”
To each question I responded, “I will.”
So much has happened in four years since to make these promises vividly real.
But the covenant didn’t end there.
After I made these promises, than I said to you, “I come to lead, but you are leaders too.”
“I come to inspire, but you have vision too.”
“I come with gifts, but you bring talents too.”
“Will you join with me in welcoming all to our table?”
“Will you work with me to serve our neighbors, to feed their bodies, their
hearts, and their minds as we feed our own?”
“Will you walk with me when our faith is shaken, our spirits are low?”
“Will you teach me to listen, teach me to care, teach me to play?”
“Will you challenge me to stretch and to grow?”
“Will you share your talents and gifts with me?”
“Will you join with me in the joy and effort of a shared ministry?”
To each question the members of this congregation responded. “We will.”
Each year since then you have lived out these covenantal commitments.
Being a congregational minister is a unique position which has everything to do with the role and less to do with each specific task. When anxiety breaks out in the congregation as a whole, it is typical for that tension to be directed at the minister.
When individuals are struggling with difficult issues in their lives, it’s not uncommon for some members to project their anger and frustration onto their minister. This has nothing to do with the personality or leadership style of the individual person who serves as minister of a particular congregation. Every minister has to expect and be prepared to deal with far more negative energy and direct personal attacks than other professionals because we are in this pivotal role of religious leader. I and other ministers must know how to deal with this without taking it personally, without letting it wear away at our sense of worth and identity, without letting it cut to the bone. We need to learn to maintain our sense of worth and purpose, confidence and above all non-anxious leadership in the face of all kinds of tumult. If we don’t know or learn how to do this, we will not be able to serve churches effectively over the long term. It takes nothing less than deep spiritual grounding, strong self-awareness and a comprehensive knowledge of how church system operate at their best and the worst. That more than any specific task of the job is what ministry is all about and what ultimately you pay us for.
From the other side of the equation, it doesn’t make the congregation bad or dysfunctional because anxiety gets directed at the minister. How the inevitable attacks are handled makes all the differences. When a good chunk of the leadership of a congregation is self aware and has an understanding of congregational systems, the patterns can be managed in ways that lead to greater functioning and health of the whole congregation. There are tools such as a covenant of right relations which can aid congregations. It’s not easy work on either side of the equation.
At Sunnyhill we are doing that work. I have seen some important changes in the level of reactivity of the leadership of this congregation over the past few months. I’ve seen a growing focus on proper process, bringing concerns where they belong, not over dramatizing any one individual’s concern.
With all of that comes a lessoning of the overall anxiety of the congregation and the ability to direct the considerable energy and creativity of this church to work which builds excitement, inspiration, trust and cohesiveness among us. Now we can and we are focusing on who we want to be as a congregation. What dreams and goals do we have? Where would we like to be as a church community 10 years from now?
Unitarian Universalism requires us to find a balance between individual freedom and congregational unity. We can reach a healthy balance if we embrace authority and leadership, our own and others without clinging or following blindly. We can reach a healthy balance if we allow ourselves to feel that unnerving energy of power without running away or cutting it down to size. We can reach a healthy balance by engaging the struggles and joys of church life with a mutual trust and respect and with an awareness of our covenant to one another.